Humorous insurance quotes from Callidus-auto.co.uk

Who said insurance was humourless!

These quotes are all taken from genuine (allegedly) insurance claims.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident

I started to slow down, but the traffic was more stationary than I thought

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way

I told the police that I was not insured, but on removing my hat I found I had a fractured skull

Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.

Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

I thought my window was open, but I found it was shut when I put my head through it

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telegraph pole

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have

The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him

I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind

While proceeding through 'Monkey Jungle', the vehicle was enveloped by small fat brown grinning monkeys. Number three fat brown monkey (with buck teeth) proceeded to swing in an anticlockwise direction on the radio aerial. Repeated requests to desist were ignored. Approximately 2 minutes and 43 seconds later, small fat brown monkey disappeared in 'Monkey Jungle' clutching radio aerial

The moral of the story? Think carefully before putting pen to paper!

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Auto electrical specialistsin the heart of Hampshire

Auto electrical specialists
in the heart of Hampshire